informal

You ask for a handshake, so I give you a high-five.
I don't fare well in situations that call for diamonds
and all I've got are jeans.
It's been a while since I've cared.
And who am I kidding?
I still don't.
You glare,
and I know what you're trying to tell me.
That's why I laugh
and turn away.
I'll be a sinking ship tonight,
but I won't need your help.
I can fail on my own,
and I'll do it with style.
You can go to hell with your diamonds and champagne.
I'll be fine
sipping a Coke.
Enjoy your night.
It's all you've got.

crossword

A series of boxes,
Uncapped pen at the ready,
My mind feels like a ninja.

Down, across,
Down, across,
My pen skates over the page.

29-down: French,
35-across: caress,
1-down..
Shit, 50 to go.

I don't know. It spewed from my brain so I wrote it.

almost home

I step into a dim entryway, the only sound a creaking door shut. I say hello to the empty space and stop. Waiting for an echo. Flipping on a light, I skip past the living room, straight into the dark hallway. I keep my eyes focused on the end that I cannot see. I stumble around the room until I reach the lamp. With a sharp click, my bedroom, that is old and yet still present, comes into light. I stand in the center and stare at my surroundings through a reflection.
I don't know if it's exactly the way I left it. I never left it the way they did. I'm still here.
The smallest sounds make the biggest noise. With every sound of home silenced, I feel as though I shouldn't be here. Like an intruder, stepping through the quiet walls of an abandoned life.
The heavy splatter of rain on the windows keep me company.
Time has stopped the world around me and I am the only life that moves. I am afraid to touch anything, open any doors. I am even afraid to look into any mirrors. Afraid that I won't find anything behind them. Afraid there is nothing to be found.
What's it like to be almost home? It's like fitting the key in the lock, and not being able to turn it.
It's like finally getting there, and realizing you haven't.

after / eighteenth wish

After, the air didn't quite smell the same. Why didn't it smell the same? Actually, I just said that because it sounded rather dramatic. After was definitely not dramatic. Neither was before, nor the inbetween. And I knew exactly why the air smelt different: eighteen candles had just extinguished themselves into my face. I coughed and opened my eyes only to have someone pop a camera flash in my adjusting pupils. Hi, could we please refrain from said abuse? Awesome, thanks ... Jerk.
When that little blind spot of color disappeared and I could finally see again, I was greeted by too many big bright smiles pointing right at me. Why are you smiling? Why are you applauding? I've definitely mastered the technique. Quick breath in, holditholditholdit, now blow! If I get 'em all at once, maybe my wish'll come true.
Oh, right, my wish. That's why this moment wasn't so dramatic anymore. I didn't wish for anything.
When I was little, I'd think real hard about my wish. It had to be good. No ponies, no Barbie houses. I don't remember what each of my wishes were, but every year I'd wish for world peace. Wow, what a kid. What a selfless kid. Actually, I thought that if I only wished for myself, God would send me to hell. Sometimes though I'd make the worst run-on sentences and add on a million wishes and go on for longer than necessary and everyone would tell me to hurry up and I thought I was being sneaky. But world peace was always in there somewhere. An afterthought or a beforethought. But there nonetheless.
What was I doing wishing for world peace? I was five. My world was my house, my school, and the car ride inbetween. Where was the war? the turmoil? the suffering? But I wished for it everytime.
I wished for world peace on everything, twirling dandelions, fading rainbows, falling stars. I even squeezed my eyes shut in concentration, to add to the effect? to make sure God heard me? God. So, I was praying. Is a wish a prayer? A special prayer?
Did it matter if they never came true? Because they never do. They never do.

Time to cut the cake.